Take care of your own oxygen mask before helping others….

With all the debates about masks these days, the airlines have got it right;  take care of your own oxygen mask before helping others….

This year has been a struggle in so many ways.  Finding ourselves navigating a pandemic was not something any of us saw coming.  But even without COVID-19, life is a series of balancing acts.  Work presents challenges, relationships require work, and personal self-care often finds its place at the very bottom of our everyday life lists.

Anyone nodding?  Yep, me too.

I’ve noticed I’m falling very short in the self-care category and have been for some time now.  I’ve always struggled with balancing work life with my personal life, but the past five months or so have taken that struggle to a new level. 

Not my choice.  Or is it?

With so few things we can do, visit, and engage in this year, I, like many, have spent a lot of time at home; so, I work.  It's my default.  Starting running regularly in my 30’s helped my balance immensely.  I met new friends, joined in on running dates, joined a running club, and ran countless races.  When I chose to return to school for my bachelor’s and master’s degrees, I met more new friends and immersed myself in learning and applying my learning. I’ve been doing very little of what energizes or inspires me.  And I miss it. 

Worse, all this non-stop working is distracting me from other self-care opportunities: 

• Getting enough sleep
• Practicing good nutrition
• Connecting with friends & family regularly
• Remembering and participating in important dates/events
• Puzzling
• Reading
• Writing in my blog

If I expect to be a good/happy/balanced person, wife, daughter, friend, and coworker, I need to take better care of myself.  I have people to care for and take that very seriously.  So why not take self-care seriously?  Why do we so often give up or leave for last the very thing we need most to get through our good days and our bad days?

This day, Saturday, I choose to put self-care back up at the top of my list.  So, I am applying my oxygen mask before helping others;  a walk with Bella, a run outside, a healthy lunch, and...a page in my blog.

How do YOU self-care?

11,692 steps to a new attitude

A week and a half have passed since my last run.  I walk daily, sometimes multiples times, driven by Bella’s needs.  But run?  Meh.  These days of COVID, of work stress, and insomnia have left me dreaming of being a runner again (when I do actually sleep).  That would entail running though.  Hence, my dilemma.

I could tell immediately that my life-force was off this morning.   I had no good reason for feeling this way; it’s Saturday, it’s not 400 degrees out, and I actually slept OK last night.  Scott was already out for a run, so I grabbed Bella and took her for her “long walk”, hoping the act of moving would change my attitude.

So, since that didn’t work…..

Scott, doubling as a cheerleader and coach today, had a great idea to drive to Acadia and run some trails.  Nothing takes the pressure off a runner who hasn’t been running than trails.  No pressure to run fast, ability to get lost in the run, no external distractions….

And 11,692 steps later, I had a firm grasp of a new attitude! 

Sometimes you need a combination of things:  a husband who gets you, who leads the cheering squad for you, who is willing to run additional miles at a slower pace just to get me out there moving, and of course, cooler air is always a plus.  But ultimately, you still need to want to run.

I’ve been stuck for some time now with where running sits in my priorities, what I expect out of a run, and frankly, why I run at all.  So many years of building my miles, my pace, and my goals have left me questioning my “why”.  

While I contemplate my “why”, I’m celebrating a glorious 6 miles on trails, a clear head, a hint at a level of energy I’ve been missing, and even a desire to go back out for more tomorrow! 

Why??  Why not.

I was watching...and still am Mom!

Be kind, you said;

I saw how you sewed masks for healthcare workers, made care packages for people in need, and quietly left pieces of art to brighten a stranger's day.

Be confident, you said;

I saw your confidence in everything you did/do, and even when it wasn’t truly there, I saw you be confident for me.

Work hard, you said;

I saw you work so, so hard for years to feed and clothe three kids.

Get an education, you said;

I saw you nail your RN degree at an age when most were winding down their careers.

Don’t be afraid to try new things, you said;

I saw you reinvent yourself so many times, all to be your best self.

Be patient, you said;

I saw you patient with…everyone.

Be generous, you said;

I saw you give up so much to make sure we had what we needed and sometimes wanted.

Don’t quit, you said;

I saw you push through some of the toughest experiences and come out stronger on the other side.

Be grateful, you said;

I saw you always look for the silver lining, seek ways to turn negative into positive, see the best in people and situations, and turn what you had into enough.

Words are nothing without action behind them.

I am who I am today because of you.

Because you showed me...

right vs. wrong

kind vs. evil

strong vs. weak

love vs. hate

What a gift to have you as my Mom.

4.44

Today should have been the 20^th running of the OKCMemorial Marathon, but like many other races, it was postponed.  Instead, we headed to the local park to run as many loops (~2.75 miles) as we needed.  Not wanted…..needed.

4.44 miles was the moment during my run this morning when everything clicked.  I intentionally ignored my watch this morning, because my goal was to crash through the 4-mile barrier I’ve slowly built up the last couple of months and find that feeling you only get when you run long.

Mission accomplished.  Today’s 9-mile run was the longest I’ve run since March 1^st.  Since then, I’ve been hanging out way too long in 4 mile-ville; at that, the frequency has been sporadic at best.

Here’s what I re-discovered by breaking through the 4-mile barrier:

• I haven’t felt this calm in months.  Work has been insane, and although I’m grateful to have a job, I’ve allowed running/fitness/health to take a back seat.
• I realized I was smiling only after a passerby commented on it.  I wasn’t even aware that I was smiling, but yes, there it was.  From deep inside.
• The result of the usual insomnia really doesn’t take much toll on my run.  Mentally, it’s harder to get out of bed, but once moving, I’d forgotten about the sleep deficit.
• By not focusing on my pace (always easier said than done), I was able to run farther.  And feel more positive about it.
• It can be powerful when you head out with intention.  Sometimes you run just to move and feel alive.  But most times, if you head out with intention, it’s a lot easier to feel successful at the end of it.

The final thing I re-discovered is that I need to run.  Plain and simple.  Running continues to provide me with the feeling of belonging in a community that embraces each other (from a distance of course!), with goals to strive for and crush that feed my confidence, and with the endorphins that bring with a sense of peace that makes everything feel more achievable.

And because I love junk food.  There's also that.

What will be the new normal?

I hear we’re not even at peak yet with this awful Coronavirus.  With most of us following social distancing guidelines for several weeks now, I can’t help but wonder what post-Coronavirus world will look like?  

Here are a few things I hope will continue post-Coronavirus crisis:

• Cute puppy pictures, memes, and videos.  I mean, how can you not feel good when you see those!

• Uptick in dog fostering.  They need us; we need them.

• The new population of people who are walking and playing outside.  There is no doubt there are a lot more people getting outdoors.

• A much more collaborative spirit at work.  Any of us can be one step away from unemployment.  Knowing we’re each picking up slack for the other makes the job feel less daunting and less stressful.

• Check ins by friends, family, and coworkers.  I’ve checked in on many; I’ve been touched when someone checks on me.

• Continued care for our elderly.  The creative ways people have “visited” their elders in nursing homes has been heartwarming.

• Continued acts of philanthropy.  Hopefully, we won’t always have to worry about masks and PPEs, but there will always be something.

• Openly grateful acts towards healthcare workers and frankly all workers who are able and willing to continue serving us.

• Realization that we do need each other.

• The power of a hug.

Control

We all crave control.  Control what we eat, what we purchase, what we do for work, and so on.  What happens when we lose control?  Fear.  Anxiety.  Stress.

This coronavirus and subsequent economic crash combined are testing every bit of control we ever thought we had.  But is it really that different from pre-crisis time?

Every day, we live our lives like it’s our last day on earth, right?  No, not really.  Some of us do, but most of us try really hard.  We take things and people for granted.  It’s natural.  Until that thing or person is suddenly gone.  Today, a lot of that control is indeed gone or severely limited.

But here’s another way to think about it:  living through coronavirus and economic crash is still living each day as if it could be our last.  It may require even more effort, but this hasn’t changed.

If I head to the food store pre-crisis, I expect to buy all the food and product I desire.  If I see a product out of stock, I’m surprised, but I move on and either find a replacement or do without for that day/week.  If I head to the food store now, I don’t know what I will encounter.  The store could have empty shelves or people fighting over toilet paper.  So, the control is severely challenged right down to the most granular level.

But there are things we can still control –

• We can control our thoughts.
• We can control our words.
• We can control our behaviors.
• We can control how we treat ourselves and others.
• We can control being creative with what we do have.
• We can control what we do while contributing to social distancing.
• We can control the amount of news we watch.
• We can control our expectations.

Whenever my last day is on this Earth, I don’t want to be stressed or rude or angry.  I don’t want to waste the time or energy upset of what’s happening around me or to me.  I want to listen to good music.  I want to enjoy a glass of wine (and if I run out and can’t get any when I want to, a glass of Gatorade – in a wine glass).  I want to enjoy writing in my blog. I want to celebrate friends’ birthdays – even if over Facebook.  I want to FaceTime with friends and family. I want to look forward to our nephew’s wedding. I want to look forward to times with the new-ish babies in our family.  I want to enjoy walks with Bella.  I want to enjoy another Oklahoma sunset while I live here.  I want to be silly.  I want to laugh. 

This does not discount or minimize the harsh realities people are facing, but realizing I have control of some things is good enough for me.

Bonita Springs, FL

Some Positives from Social Distancing

The world is scary right now.  People are sick, dying, isolated, afraid.  So many are losing their jobs, so add ‘desperate’ to that list.  This is serious.  COVID-19 is a beast that is changing the way we live, work, and socialize. 

Social distancing is likely to become the phrase of the year – maybe even the decade.  I personally don’t mind it too much; my job can easily be done at home and I always have a puzzle going.  #homebody.  This social distancing isn’t so easy for many of you with children or with jobs that can’t be done from home.  And for most, it’s only been a week or so.  It will get old.

I expect that most of us will get annoyed eventually, argue with our spouses, yell at our kids or dogs, BUT for now, here’s what I’ve been seeing either in my own neighborhood or via Facebook/Insta posts –

• More people are out walking or playing with their kids in their driveways or yards
• Couples dancing in their kitchens
• Families out walking in the woods
• Runners out running – solo or in groups, notably distant from one another
• Family members continuing to “visit” their elders in nursing homes through the window
• Friends checking in on one another
• Friends posting cute/funny/light posts (we all need distraction!)
• Friends spring cleaning, getting organized, etc.
• Everyone’s rediscovering games, puzzles, and just going outdoors

I hope people continue to #stayTFhome so we can flatten the curve and start the healing.  Until then, I hope this “old fashioned” way of life continues for a little while.  I hate the reason for it, but it’s a good look for us all.

Making Good Decisions

From all accounts, today’s long run should’ve been an epic fail.  I skipped every run this week.  Yes, that means my long run today was going to be my first run of the entire week.  I didn’t move much at all.  I was lazy.  Additionally, insomnia and I had a hot date last night, watching back-to-back reruns of “The Nanny”.  

Then something miraculous happened.

It wasn’t an epic fail.

At some point last night while I was wide awake, I decided I wouldn’t stress over the long run I had on my training calendar.  I decided I wouldn't waste my energy on creating excuses to lessen the mileage.  I decided I wouldn’t awaken with a feeling of dread.  I decided I would run the right pace for the distance for the right reasons.  I decided I would run happy.

So I did.

And it was beautiful.

The scenery was beautiful too.  In fact, I couldn’t stop taking pictures!  The gorgeous blue sky, the comfortable temperature, the bright shining sun, the expressive clouds, and the shimmering lake created a colorful pallet of beauty.

To add to my great experience this morning, every runner or walker I came upon was super smiley and friendly.  Two runners acknowledged my Boston Marathon jacket with a thumbs up and one other encouraged me, “You're doing great!”.  I wonder if they decided that they would be the reason someone smiles today, that they would run happy, and that they would be sure to look around and marvel at what a gorgeous day it was.

My decisions each day this past week may not have been my best, but this morning’s decisions more than made up for the past.  Fortunately, I’m not all that interested in what’s reflected in my rear view mirror, since running requires me to move in a forward direction. 

Good decisions….keep’em coming!

My SuperBowl Half Marathon

Today’s running schedule called for 12 miles.  Today’s weather called for anything outside, because… 70+ degrees in February!  Don’t be too jealous, because there is snow in the forecast.  WHATTT?

Even though I had all the time in the world (no deadlines of any kind today), I had the most perfect weather possible, and I’ve strung a few nights of good, normal sleep, I procrastinated.  And I did it in a big way:

• I watched TV
• I puzzled
• I scrolled mindlessly on social media
• I took Bella for a walk
• I made the bed
• I (eventually) got dressed to run
• I changed twice (finally landed on shorts and a light long sleeved shirt)
• I whined to Scott about my run
• I whined some more to Scott about my run

So the moral of this story?

 

I spent more time procrastinating, complaining, and whining about my long run this morning, than the time it took me to actually run the long run!

So many years and miles behind me, I still struggle with getting out the door at times.  But once I do, I feel so much better and can’t even remember the reasons I procrastinated in the first place.  The sun, the saltiness, the tired legs, the feeling of having worked hard, and the post-run smile that tells the story of a good run all keep me heading back out for the next run.

Now, about that snow forecast….

Groovy Race - Bling, Breakfast Burritos, and Beer!

Go Short, Go Long, Go Longer proved to be a great race with some fun (and funky) highlights.  The race brand’s logo of an old 1960’s/1970’s orange Volkswagen bus should give you the idea.

So because this logo put me into a psychedelic, 1960's/1970’s mood, I’m going to bring back some of the great slang from those days to describe the day!  

I posted recently on Instagram that I just haven’t been diggin’ my runs lately.  Although I’ve gotten the long runs done, my attitude’s been heavy and I’ve been feeling lazy.  But the good thing about a race is, sometimes it sparks the competition in you and reignites your spark. So we packed our kicks and headed to Tulsa!

Arriving at River West Festival Park, the shagadelic Volkswagen van seemed to jump off the logo and was parked at the race start.  Lookin’ good!

The race started on time, so we boogied our way along the bike path, starting at River West Festival Park, following and then crossing the Arkansas river, cutting through Turkey Mountain, and back to the start.   Did I mention the sunrise was far out?

I paid for some of my laziness over the last couple of weeks, as the latter miles started to wear me down.  But I needed to keep on keepin’ on and reminded myself that this was a great opportunity to work on mental toughness.  Keep.Moving.Forward.

Scott had a rad post-race combination of a breakfast burrito and a beer.  That’s a first!

We also collected some groovy bling today!  As an extra bonus, we both won our age groups – so now have more of that psychedelic orange Volkswagen bus on coffee mugs!

This race was right on, do you catch my drift?  While I surprised myself with a solid run (splits were solid and mostly consistent), heading into a 25K feeling under-trained was a drag. 

I’d highly recommend this race:  good course (I heard it had previously been an out-and-back due to construction, but today was a nice loop), bling, food, beer, and music.  For next year, to all the cool cat runners out there who haven’t done this race yet, be there or be square!

Peace out!

Food vs. Medicine

Genes are a peculiar thing.  We joke about “getting the funny genes” or the “he/she got the smart genes”, but what we don’t joke about is the fact that sometimes we get the “unhealthy genes”.

Two decades ago, Scott lost his mom to cancer, was shocked at his older brother’s heart condition, and helped care for his dad after quintuple bypass surgery.  Prior to that, he lost one of his uncles to a massive heart attack.  His uncle was 50.

And then he lost his brother to a massive heart attack in August.  Buster was 62.

But this post is about the positive, I promise.

These family events could’ve left Scott with an attitude of “why bother, it’s hereditary” or “live it up now since I might die young”, but instead he got moving.  He started running – to the mailbox and back.  Keeling over at times, he continued improving his speed and stamina as that run to the mailbox and back became easier.  And faster. 

Extremely goal oriented, Scott signed up for a half marathon.  One half marathon lead to another, which ultimately lead to his first marathon.  30+ marathons later, Scott discovered the ultrarunning world.  Skipping the 50K distance, he went straight for the 50-mile distance at StoneCat Trail Race.  After several 50K and 50M distances, he brought his training to a new level and nailed a 24:37 finish at his first 100-mile race at Vermont 100 in 2017.

With all that running, one would think Scott can eat whatever he wants, right?  Nope.  Remember those genes?  Yeah, they continue to work against him, no matter how hard he trains.  So recently, after a routine checkup that left him with some challenging results, Scott took his nutrition to a new level.  No fad diets, no pills, and definitely no cholesterol regimen.  No way.

He bought a couple of cookbooks and has been focusing on a more Mediterranean diet.  He has said more than once how quickly spices and olive oil disappear from the cabinet when you actually use them!  And one of the items that has NOT been disappearing fast from the cabinet?  Table salt.  How many of you grab the salt shaker and apply to your meal, even before tasting the food?  Yeah, me too.  We have made a conscious effort to stop that behavior and to make ourselves more aware of hidden salt in foods.

Today, three months after that checkup, the doctor was pleasantly surprised at his results.  Scott wasn’t over weight to begin with, but the change in what he’s been eating, how he’s been preparing it, and of course, proper portion control, has resulted in a significant weight loss and in a management of his cholesterol without medication.  Don’t worry, he looks good, feels good, and most importantly, is reaping the reward of mindful cooking and consumption.

I’m so grateful for Scott’s tenacity and drive to self-correct via more natural methods around food.  He knew cholesterol medication could be in his future if he didn’t try something and he wasn’t going to give in without a fight!  Staving off maintenance drugs is something we’re both happy to have been able to do so far.  I hope we both remain healthy for a very long time and, like ultrarunning, keep moving forward, be selective at aid stations, and celebrate in moderation. 

The moral of this story?  You really are what you eat. 

Cheers!