Life's little adventures, accompanied by a running watch

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

“The fighter still remains…”

Per usual during my many long runs, I’ve gotten through some of my tougher miles through song.  The song that breezed into my head and carried me during my latest 18 miler on Sunday was the classic Simon & Garfunkle's “The Boxer”.  As I’ve numbly stumbled through this Tuesday after the sad and horrific events that draped over the Boston Marathon like a veil, I again have found myself thinking of this song.  In a small way, this song gives me strength – as music so often does.

In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that layed him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains


To me, this song reminds me of the fact that we all have a fighting spirit in us.  We may be angry now, we may be saddened beyond belief, we may be mourning the loss of innocence and purity of a traditional event that normally brings joy and triumph, but we may never give up or give in to acts of terrorism.

Today, I’ll admit I don’t feel much like a fighter.  But I know that will change.  For now, I continue to choke back tears as I watch the gruesome details unfold of the blast, as I listen to distraught family members on the news who have lost a loved one or who have endured severe injuries, and I’m overwhelmed at the sadness that hangs over our city….our country….our world.

On a positive note, Scott and I received an overwhelming volume of calls, emails, texts, FB posts from family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, my company (since I was on a work sponsored event)….all checking in to make sure we were OK.  I was never even close to Boston, since I spent the day volunteering at mile 7 water stop.  Scott finished his race and exited the finish area immediately to meet me at home.  Had he made any change to his plans, he might have…..  And here’s where I have to stop myself from playing the “what if” game.  I instead remind myself of how fortunate we are to have our health, each other, and a wonderful support system of family and friends who were so worried for our safety.

Although currently buried beneath despair, my fighting spirit is slowly returning.  I resolve to celebrate all the wonderful people and things in my life.  I will let the music back in.  I will value each new day.  Like all of you, I mourn the loss of life and the temporary loss of hope and promise, but I will run on and I will continue to live and love. 

And to prove my fighting spirit is returning, here’s a message for the cowards –

(source)

Peace to us all.


12 comments:

  1. So glad you are safe, but I know that does not matter to hundreds of others :( I went for a run yesterday after hearing/watching/reading about it and I felt like I had no heart to put into my race next weekend. I am sure that will change soon, too.

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    1. I'm counting on it Amy. I've felt similarly - just no energy or desire to move. Writing helped and I hope time will too.

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  2. I'm so so happy to hear that you are both safe. Just last week I watched as children jumped in to run their parents in to the finish line of a 50 mile ultra, then placed the medals around their mom or dad's necks. I thought, what heroes these parents are to their children! Yesterday, cowards messed with a whole lot of heroes, and it's the heroes who will shine through all of this! Thinking about them helps me find my inner fighter.

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    1. I gotta believe there are more heroes out there than evil cowards.

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  3. Beautiful words Lisa.

    Confession time. When I got the news of what happened, I was one of your many messages. Once I knew you (and all my other friends were okay), that is when I cried. Avery grabbed my hand, said Mommy persistently, I made me go down the slide with her several times, even though she normally wants to do it by herself. I hope someone can take you down a slide to ease the hurt and shock.

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    1. OMG Mandy, this comment is what finally brought the tears. Thank you for such poignant words and for sharing your fun and gentle Avery moments with me :)

      I consider myself having taken a ride down the slide.

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  4. so true that the right song just makes me feel things so deeply! it was very different to run in silence last night rather than having that escape in a song...it was good in a totally different way

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    1. I get it. Silence is so powerful and so good.

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  5. What a tough time it is right now to remain strong, but wow, our entire community has been incredible. I love runners. We're a community of tough people.

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    1. I often joke about "being one of the cool kids" with my friends/coworkers, but really, I feel like I'm part of the coolest community EVAH.

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  6. Hugs to you LIsa! The running community is so beautiful and strong. So much support and love.

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