Life's little adventures, accompanied by a running watch

Friday, June 10, 2011

The Dance

“Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end, the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance” – Garth Brooks
Just about a year has passed since we said goodbye to Scott’s dad.  For over 20 years, I gained another “Dad” and feel so lucky to have had him in my life.  Since he lived with us, we witnessed his failing health through a magnifying glass and it was difficult.  Roles were reversed, as Scott wholeheartedly and heroically took on the role of caregiver to his dad.  Emotions were raw, as we helplessly watched his dad valiantly fight the inevitable loss of independence. 
I really miss him.  And anniversaries (especially the first one) can be so damn powerful.  There is a lot more that I miss than can be articulated….
I miss telling him about my day
miss seeing the twinkle in his gorgeous blue eyes when he saw any of his family
miss  hearing the daily bantering between him and Scott
miss hearing him talk to Bella
miss hearing him humming a tune
miss seeing the glow of his often-too-loud TV when I couldn’t sleep
miss him rushing out to sit on the ‘piazza’ to watch a good thunder/lightning storm
miss hearing the word ‘piazza’ in reference to a porch
miss how proud he was to show us off to his friends when we visited him in Florida
miss his big bear hug whenever he would return home from time in Florida
miss how hungry he was to read every one of my papers I’d write for school
miss hearing him tell us how crazy we were for running (then being so proud when we finished)
miss hearing him say, “I love ya’s”

What I don’t miss is having had the dance – he brought me my Scott, he shared his whole self, and he enriched my life.  I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. 

1 comment:

  1. Oh, my God. Lisa, that was so beautiful. I almost couldn't take it. You're the most wonderful daughter in the world.

    I love you.

    ~ Mama